...of Vogue Magazine in June this year was a tribute publication to older (successful) women.
Jane Fonda, Helen Mirren and Madonna were featured.
I was in the osteopath waiting room and I only had time to read one of the interviews before my appointment.
So, I was guided to read Jane Fonda's interview, mainly because of the beautiful black and white photos of her with her dog, and that she was smiling in every photo. She is stunning, and for her age, you would not believe how much younger she looks for this. She is also Team Sagittarius and interviews quite philosophically, openly and wittily.
She is 82, the same age as my dad.
A few if her statements caught my attention, one of them was this;
"I don't have relationships anymore, I lose myself".
I resonated with this. It is probably because she is a very giving person, and maybe over gives and then finds herself lost and wandering down a one way street with little to no reciprocity. Sagittarians are notoriously generous, and especially with regard to the people that they love. They often have high moral standards and a willingness to trust and to to be open and have blind faith.
We have all been there. We have all had that relationship wherein we have given, and that wasn't enough, ending in nothing to take away but lessons learned. It's sad, but I believe these are all useful to our personal growth and understanding of what we do not want and what we really deserve. Lessons are things that money can't buy. They have great value.
With endings come new beginnings, and that is the thing to focus on. It is a very daunting prospect when you end something, that you thought would last, and have to realise that you really are alone and you have to rebuild from there. You have to rebuild from heartbreak, from loss - and often - from delusion.
Then, you realise that the journey from starting over is about yourself and your healing.
It takes a lot of self-belief to continue with the brokenness and to rebuild yourself. It is also exciting because with all of the brokenness you can put yourself back together in a way that you did not imagine that you could.
I think that healing from heartbreak is like healing from a terminal illness or a broken limb, it takes time, patience, courage and a fighting spirit. A part of you, your heart, is broken and it seems unfixable...yet it is. Like a broken limb, it will recover, just as long as you respect that all breakages (limbs, hearts, bones, bodies, organs) take time and self-care and a certain determination. You then take better care not to risk any damage to the part of you that was injured. You protect yourself better, and during recovery you protect whatever part of you is broken. The mended part will always be vulnerable, after healing.
I put my heart in a proverbial plaster cast and decided to love on my heart until it started to feel better. Now my heart wears a 'crash helmet', that I will likely never remove (at least not for the time being) If this makes me feel safer, it's a good measure. I have no problem in being single. I depend on me, and I value my good friends and family.
During the moments that I reflect and wonder why I have had to experience some of the harsher realities of my life, that have hurt me deeply, I bring myself back into the now and remind myself that everyday is a new beginning. Whatever challenges we have faced have been purposeful, to grow.
The past has gone, the future is not ours to know and all that we have is the present moment. All we have is the here right now. All we have is what we have and we always have what we need. Ourselves. We are equipped with everything that we need. Complete, whole individuals.
We have free will and also the knowledge that G-d has our back and will guide us. Meditation and stillness always leads us back to ourselves and back to spirit. Quiet time, to listen to clarity. Buddhists believe that we should fully focus on everything that we do and to do it with intent to be in that exact moment without distraction as we do it.
The world is fast and furious, at times, and to be able to pull back and to be still is essential to health and well being. To sit with yourself, comfortably, is essential. It is a form of self-respect and respect for the here and right now hours and moments in time.
Comments